


Forget and Forgotten

by Player1isgreat



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: 358/2 Days Canon Divergent, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heartless and Darklings included, Hollow Bastion | Radiant Garden, Human Experimentation mentioned, Just some gals with identity issues, Slight KH3 spoilers (Subject X), Union X speculations/spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-06 08:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18384308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Player1isgreat/pseuds/Player1isgreat
Summary: Even as the world crumbled around her, she was one of the few who managed to survive from the husk of the past. It was quite ironic, to see the life wither away just as she stepped out of the dark.In the end, she was alone once more, finding no company in the people she couldn't commit to memory. All until she met someone new.~~There was nothing important in this world besides the Heartless that crawl around the city, hungrily searching for remnants of life long before.But as far as she knew, there was no one around...all except for one.





	1. Chapter 1

Xion

* * *

While there was nothing to say about the state of this world, there was no denying the emanating Darkness here. Even if the sun shone bright and peaked through the clouds, nothing could get rid of the gloomy atmosphere plaguing the land, leaving the roads and houses dead of life. 

For some strange reason, there were bound to be Heartless roaming in this world as well. I could hear the scuttling of claws and eerie yellow eyes staring from the shadows, waiting for me to take a wrong turn or let my guard down.  
But if the Heartless hunt for the hearts of humans, then why would they live here, where the Darkness consumed their lives already?  

And as far as I know, the presence of another person was nonexistent, either hiding in the shallow huts that are peeling in the hinges or walking among the ones overcome by evil.   
But no matter what, where there are Heartless there are hearts, ready to be gathered for the Organization. The worlds beyond have their merits as well, but there was the risk of being discovered by the inhabitants.   
But here, there was no one...And it was strange to find this world on a mission form, even when Saix didn't inform me of reconnaissance first.  
  


In fact, he didn't say anything about this world...well, he hasn't been answering my questions for a while now.   
Maybe when I finish the report, he'll acknowledge it...But for now, there was nothing.   
While I could sense the Darkness all around me, there was nothing to give away the distinct form of a Heartless.   

For now, it was just the sound of stone against my shoes, the heavy and cold air, the houses' groans in discomfort, just the sights and sounds of an abandoned world.   
Nothing to see, nothing to report, nothing worth fighting, just no-   
The thunder of footsteps rang through the town, a terrifying alarm for something I never expected to realize.    
Someone else was here...And where there was life, there was Heartless.   
  


The beings of Darkness were fairly easy to find by the sound, turning a desolate corner to a pack of Shadows and Soldiers eyeing their prey. Once the Keyblade was in my grip, however, did they really notice the threat, trying to pounce and claw at my coat. Fighting in close quarters was not usual for me, they were only weak enough for me to handle, letting the wisps of smoke dissipate and hearts float to the heavens. 

  
I finally lowered my Key, putting together the pieces that I just failed to notice.   
An actual person, a  _human_ nonetheless, was standing right in front of me, motionless at the strength I unknowingly displayed. The two things my terrified mind noted was their hair and eyes, out of all things...   
Black locks of hair, honey-gold eyes, perhaps as bright and vibrant as a Shadow or the fabled Realm of Darkness itself. Even if my face was hidden, our fear would have been a carbon copy. 

But from those quivering lips, her voice was brought to life, not created by fear...but wonder.

"Who are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

~~Subject~~ X

* * *

 

While I lost everything I have ever known, the world has done the same. From the cold comforts of the castle to the vibrant unknowns of the city, the sights and sounds told through a grating in my door were long gone. 

The cultivated gardens withered, people old and young fled for their lives, but it was all in naught for the sea of black and yellow. For a strange reason, I thought of it as fate, letting the colors of life be snuffed away just so I could blend into this new life; cold and empty like the neutral walls of before. 

But even in this lonely world, there are still monsters that only know destruction and pain. They stalk every corner, slithering in the ground and stare at the same sky with cold emotionless stares. For now, I understood what it means to survive, to hide behind the monsters' shadow and away from the eyes that shone as bright as stars.   
"...Who are you?" 

I learned to live off the familiar loneliness, and I knew how to fight back the monsters that come to life in the dark, for that's what makes them solid, living creatures like everything else. I was strong in heart and mind, but this...person...was the other strength I lacked. The blade struck down these beasts like it was a simple sport, the literal key of all mysteries that wished to be solved.    
  
For once in a very long time, there was another living soul...  

"-Hey, wait!" The figure in black fled the scene, the mystical blade in their hand vanishing in a flurry of light. While that was a fine surprise for me, I just wanted one thing to know. While they were fast, I was faster, memorizing all the twists and turns of the town, grabbing that trembling glove in no time.   
  
"What are you running away for? I should thank you...you saved my life, after all." They dodged my smile, seemingly afraid of my presence; "Well...I guess you're just surprised as me. It's been a long time since I met someone else..."   
  
"And...You're a person..." She turned his face slightly, showing the softest blue eyes under the hood.   
"Of course I am. What else would I be?" My grip loosened, and I gave another grin; "Now then, what's your name?"  
"I-..." Once again, there was hesitation, like there was something not meant to say; "It's...Xion."  
"That sounds pretty...You can call me X."   
 

_It's similar, but not the same..._    
"X?" Xion only repeated, apparently perplexed, "That's a name?"  
"I guess so...It's a long story, but I can't remember my real name."  
"Oh...I'm sorry."

   
_She's compassionate but shy, even if she saved me...Almost like those boys...  
_ _It feels nice..._  
"Don't worry, I'm glad that you care...But we should go somewhere else, it's not safe here."  
However, a bashful grin made way, with the girl waving her hands uncomfortably. 

"No, it's okay...I have to go anyway."  
"Alright then. Stay safe, ok?"  
"Sure thing..." And just like that, she just turned and left, vanishing to another corner and to the unknown.

There wasn't even a single "Thank you" or "See you later"...I guess it was meant to be.  

_But if I wait, get through every day like the monotonous times before, I may hear that voice once again.  
_ _Because like before, this is the only place where I can stay...she'll know where to find me._  

"See you later...Xion."  
With silence as my answer, I went back home.


	3. Chapter 3

 Xion

* * *

There was nothing to report about the world, but the great amount of Heartless would be investigated on a later note. On the familiar clocktower, Roxas and Axel cheerfully told me their missions, while nothing could top the exploration of a brand-new world. I couldn't tell them about the girl I ran into either way, and I broke the rule of staying out of sight. Even if I saved her life, I couldn't get rid of this strange feeling in my gut.   
  
Maybe for today, ice cream wasn't working for me...  

  
As the days passed by, that mysterious world didn't appear in my missions, neither did my thoughts disappear as well.   
I've seen people in the distance, obliviously going through their lives without the fear of Heartless or the emotionless state we've been faced with. While Nobodies like us want to be human, to have a heart of our own, we're feared for the lack of one.  

But X...while she fears the Heartless, she doesn't fear _me_...  
She's strange...but she's open to the loneliness, she has no memories just like me and Roxas...and when she grabbed my wrist, I could feel her heartbeat, strong and determined.  
X is human, but she cares about a Nobody like me...even if she doesn't know for now.  
Maybe she's better off not knowing... 

 

"Xion, hey! I was wondering where you've been."   
 _I don't have a heart like you, so I don't have emotions...  
_ _I can't feel things the same way you do.  
_ _Even if we don't remember our past, I don't have the same optimism that you have every day._  
_I just have a purpose and a goal...but..._  

"Sorry..." I could only mumble; "I was really busy."   
Why did I come back?

Did I finish my missions afterward or did Saix give me another form...?   
I should just check my pockets, the- 

"I bet you were, it's been a couple of days already. And your hair's so pretty, it's almost like mine!"  
 _Oh no...  
_ First I met a human, then I showed my face? What am I even doing!?

 

"What's the matter, Xion?"  
"No-no...It's nothing..." My cheeks easily turned red, now finding no cover to hide them; "But um... there are some things I wanna ask you..."  
"Sure thing, I'm all ears."  
   
_Why do you care for a Nobody like me?_  
_What's so special about you?_  
_I just don't know..._  

So many thoughts and doubts swirled in my head, giving me the time to stare at the tiled earth and dig my hands in my pockets.  
I didn't feel the crinkle of paper in either hand...I'm just running on wasted time.    
"...Are you- WOAH!" I was suddenly and literally dragged out of my anxiety, just barely trailing behind X.  

"X! What...What are you doing!?"  
"There were monsters after you!"  
"Then why are we  _running_!?" My lungs were starting to burn, rounding corner after corner with a concerned yank of her hand; "I can just fight them!"  
"Now's not the time, and you're not getting hurt on my watch!" Thankfully, she let me run on my own, trailing anxiously behind; "Don't worry, we're almost here." 

Her momentum thankfully slowed, climbing a set of boxes to a similarly drab rooftop, barely breaking a sweat in any way.    
 _How does X have this much agility?_

Even so, I continued to follow behind, climbing through a brightly polished window that dazzled in the sunlight.  
"Watch your step when you're coming down."  
"Alright..." Delicately so, I balanced upon the solemn wooden desk, avoiding the stray novel and oil lamp, letting my boots meet the floor with a satisfying thump.

The room set me at slight awe, just seeing the mass of books piled in a bookshelf, miniature table with a duet of chairs, flannel carpet, and the matching shade of red on the covers of the bed; a pocket of comfort in the dismal world outside.    
 

"Well Xion," Her grin was wide and bold, spreading her arms wide as if the chamber was a prized achievement; "welcome to my humble abode!"   
"Thank you..."   
 _My room has nothing to compare with this..._  

"Oh come on, it's nothing. I don't have a lot, but you just have to work with what you got, right?" Even so, X lightly blushed, "Seriously, you saved my life one time, I saved your's, and now I'm showing you my place...What a crazy turn of events, that's for sure."   
"It sure has..." And it's not like I can show her _my_ room anytime soon... 

"Now~ then, before we were rudely interrupted, what were those questions you wanted to ask me?" Reality hit me hard like a wall, letting my imaginary heart drop at the thought.  
  


_Should I even tell her?_  
_She's so nice not knowing...would she hate me if she realized it?  
_ _I need to make this quick, and just don't know how much time I have..._

"Right..." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, just feeling my knuckles turn white under my gloves.  
 _It's just a simple question...I can get through this..._  
"Are-...Are you...afraid of me...?"   
That cheerful smile vanished on X's face, those golden eyes dancing on such indescribable emotions.

"Afraid of  _you_? Why would I want to do that?" Her grin returned as I was frozen in place, letting those delicate hand cup my cheeks; "Look at yourself...You're just a young girl with so much ahead of you, and what part of  _that_ makes you want to be scary?"  
"It's not that...I'm not like you, I'm not human."  
"But you look human to me. There's nothing wrong about that, right?" 

_That's the reason why..._  

She took my silence with a slight chuckle, letting me have some space to breathe.   
"I guess you have a lot to unpack, huh? Don't worry, I know the solution to that. But first..." The bedroom door swung open, the creaking hinges breaking my thoughts for now; "There's no reason to start on an empty stomach. Hope you like cookies, Xion!"   
And just like that, X was gone...   
  


Should I have told her that I wasn't hungry...or I have no idea what cookies are?   
It has to be as good as ice cream, right?   
And even if I was hungry, I don't feel it...maybe it's just a human thing... 

~~~  

Okay, scratch that thought...cookies are  _way better_ than ice cream...  
While they're a lot sweeter than I'm used to, they would just melt in my mouth with an explosion of chocolate and sugar. I'm sure Axel's gonna be a bit upset...but there's nothing beating this right now.

"So~, you like them?" X mischievously asked, grinning ear to ear while I took another bite.  
"Mm-hm! They're amazing!"  
"Aw...thanks. I made a bit too many for myself, so you're happy to take some with." I froze once again, staring straight into her eyes with a dazzle in mine.  
  
"You  _made_ them!?"   
"Of course, silly. Where would I buy them if I wanted to?"  
"Oh...yeah, right..." Her smile only softened, setting the plate down on the coffee table as well as taking the seat.

"It's alright...Before you stuff yourself full, how about you explain a bit."  
"Right...It's a bit...complicated." 

_After all of this, do I deserve your kindness?_

"Don't worry, I won't judge you...Between you and me, I've been through a lot too."  
"Really?"  
"Sure thing, and look at me now. I have a comfy life, and I met you...that shouldn't bring me down in any other way."  
 _But this is more than a simple friendship...If they find out, what's gonna happen to you? To me?  
_ _You're nice, I can't thank you any other way, but...maybe you should forget about me..._

  
"But I'm  _different_..." The word started to fill my mouth with poison, washing away the sugary sweets from before; "I'm a Nobody, I don't know what a heart feels like, and I was born without one...And even if I can't remember my Somebody, I don't understand what's going through my mind right now. I can't understand emotions, X, and I should be dangerous to you...You should forget about me, you'll be safer..."

X was rightfully silent, and I couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. It was the silence of judgment, all deciding my fate with everything I selfishly revealed. 

_If the Organization finds out, it will be_ more than just being turned to a Dusk.  
_Roxas, Axel...I'm sorry, this is all my fault..._   
  


"Why should this matter to me?" That indifference, that unnerving calm sent another chill up my spine, just waiting for the worst to come; "It's a lot, I can tell you that...but being a Nobody isn't gonna stop me from being your friend, that's for sure."  
The unbearable stirring in my chest halted at once, letting the silence fill my thoughts as X gathered the plate in her hands.

"You're welcome back here anytime, Xion. Just let me get these wrapped up so you can take them home, alright?"  
"...Yeah, sure thing..." She didn't wait for anything else, leaving me staring at the vacant hall with the sunset beaming through the window.   
 _It feels like time just stopped..._  

I know I'll be punished for coming back late, probably with extra missions, a cold stare from Saix either way or something worse from the Superior.   
I know I'm enough of a failure, stalling myself from the importance of the Organization because of some strange thoughts and a stranger human.  
I know Roxas and Axel are going to question me if I'm gone, and why I missed the talks and ice cream.

I know that this feeling, this _emotion_ , is filling my empty chest with such a strange warmth...  
Is this from my memories as a Somebody?   
Or is it what it means to be noticed from someone outside of the Organization? 

I don't know what it means right now...but I don't care to explain it to X.  
_As long as she accepts me, it feels like the walls around me are starting to crumble..._  

"Thank you..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If she's the mom-you-never-had friend, then you picked an amazing friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I guess you could notice, but this takes place after CoM, so I'm unfortunately cutting the list of Org. members short, as well as including some tidbits from the novels.  
> Of course, there are some people that might recognize her, but that's for another time... ;)

* * *

  ~~Subject~~ X

* * *

From the first official visit to the next, I started to see Xion as an estranged little sister. Sure, she might be a couple of years younger than me, but she doesn't seem to know about some basics...   
Besides that, there's the sweet tooth I have to worry about. The world doesn't revolve around ice cream and cookies, no matter what she wants to believe. 

However, I've come to know the stoic life she's been living through, though I was strangely nonchalant about the existence of other worlds and how she's been traveling from her homeworld to mine all this time.   
 _Well...I've heard a lot of strange things from the scientists, but I never really put them to heart. If I couldn't remember, then what was the point in figuring out the reason?  
_ _Could I just follow my intuition if I had the chance to explore them one day?_  
 

But with Xion's strict lifestyle, she was more than compliant to explain about the Heartless, the monsters I've seen on a near-daily basis. Shadows, Neoshadows, Darkside, Soldiers, Red Sonatas; and many...many more than I could count, but all of them could be defeated by the powers of the Keyblade.  
It's a pretty amazing ability in of itself, even as one of her friends possesses such a special gift as well, I feel somewhat proud of the knowledge. 

"But...why do you look like a Heartless?"  
"What do you mean by that?"   
"Well, I don't really see a human look like you...That was the first thing that came to mind, really...and Saix has _scarier_ eyes than the Heartless, that's for sure. -So um...yeah."  
"Yeah, that's a bit weird, huh?" I could only chuckle to the thought; "As far as I know, I was born with this. There's no point blaming me for looking like the enemy...Besides that, I don't have a single bad bone in my body."

However, Xion was at awe. "Humans can have bad bones? Won't that hurt them?"  
"It's just an expression, silly..." 

   
Even if it started off as a simple term, it just stuck...  
For me, "silly" is the only way to describe her train of thought. While she doesn't look the part, Xion has the heart and mind of an energetic toddler. And even if there are plenty of adults in her little posse, they didn't sound like the proper role models...  
It's kinda sad...If I could, I would give them a piece of my mind on why she needs to widen her horizons.  

  
"Oh, um...X? Can I ask you something?"   
"What's up?"  
"Would it be alright...if I tell my friends about you?" That was just enough for me to stop my concentration, looking up from my book to see her fidgeting anxiously by.  
"Oh my Light," I unfortunately snickered; "you didn't tell them yet? I thought you would've gushed over it by now!"  
"-I was busy, okay? I didn't have the time..." 

Another grin returned, a blush went to her, "It was my cookies, huh?"   
"And they're delicious...I was thinking about sharing them."   
"That's a great idea. You know what they say, 'Good food is the start of any friendship'."  
"Now that's silly..."

_Now it's really catching on..._  

"While we're on the subject, can I shoot a couple of questions at you?"  
"I guess...? What are they?"  
"Some obvious ones, really..." I stood proud and proper, taking in the atmosphere of uncertainty; "Why do you wear this coat all the time?"   
"It protects me from the Darkness." She answered as a matter-of-fact; "And it helps me travel to other worlds."

"Alright, I kinda get that...then what about your friends?"  
"We all have to wear it so we're safe."  
 _But that doesn't help me in the fashion department...Really, what kind of looney-bin does she live in?_  

With the fact in mind, I sighed.

"Don't you ever change out of it?"  
"Of course I do! I change out of it every day...and put on another one..."  
 _I guess that's typical of them..._  

  
"Alright...Look, as a friend, I'm not going to pressure you with this. But~...if you want, you could wear something  _casual_ when we hang out, okay? Nothing too much, just something else you feel comfortable in."   
"Something comfortable? ...Alright, I think I have an idea for that..."   
"That's great! Don't worry, you can always ask me for some tips." Still, there was a glimmer in Xion's eye, leading her way out the front door.  
"Thanks, X! See ya later!"

And with a smile and a wave, she was gone...

_It's a bit sad to see her go so soon, but it feels so familiar..._  
_Is it a memory?  
_ Out of habit, I felt the gentle warmth of my heart, running over that faded mark.   
 _Who knows...maybe in time, I'll figure something out._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst! Angst! Angst! Angst! ANGST!

* * *

 Xion

* * *

 Well...I guess I could tell her the cookies were a success... 

"Is this really the place?" Roxas pondered aloud, feeling the Heartless stare us down in the shadows. It's been a while since we had a mission together, and with two Keyblades in this world, it's impossible to ignore the foreboding Darkness...   
"It's alright, the Heartless here are pretty weak, so they won't bother us for now."   

_I guess that's a simple way to put it...While I didn't get the chance to explore the outer regions of the town, the Heartless are strangely passive in this space..._  
_Maybe I should ask X about it later..._   
  


"Well guys, this is the place." Everything was still in order, taking the time to knock on the door both clean and dull.  
 _I'd rather want fewer questions if we use the window either way..._  
"X, we're here!"   
"Already? Man, that was fast." Behind my back, I could feel Axel flinch slightly; "Come on in, the door's unlocked." 

The offer was nothing I could ignore, opening up to the warm and comforting atmosphere that the world itself lacks. While the hall was simple and plain, it was nothing I have ever seen, and the same went for Roxas as well. And in the midst of it all, X stood out immensely with a simple white tee and gray sweatpants.   
  
 _Is that what she means as casual?_  
_I wonder what it's really for..._  

"Lea...?" However, that snapped me out of my thoughts, catching a set of emotions dancing in her eyes; "This is a surprise...And you got taller too."   
 _Lea?_

"Actually...It's Axel now."   
"You know her?" I went back to my friend for a moment, noting how he looked a bit pale.  
"Yeah...It was a pretty long time." He swallowed a lump in his throat, urging himself to continue; "X...you've been here this whole time?"  

_Does he really know about her?_  
_Besides that, I never saw Axel like this..._

"Not all the time. I've done a bit of house-hunting...nothing too much. But I'm glad." She smiled reassuringly, holding onto his hands to ease the atmosphere; "It's been so long since I saw you and Isa, so I thought you were getting too busy to visit. Have you been on those crazy adventures again?"

Axel flinched once again, and he looked rightfully wounded...  
 _Did she know him as a Somebody...?_  
_And what about Isa? Was that supposed to be Saix?_  

But Axel only laughed to himself...weak and strained.  
"How is this possible? You...You haven't aged at all..."  
"What do you mean by that?"  
There was a smile, but not the one I'm used to seeing...

"X...You were gone for ten years..." She was instantly taken back, and the same went for us as well.   
" _Ten years_...I-..." Minutes seemed to pass as she contemplated the fact, breaking it slightly with a light hum. Even for me, what would I do if the world ignored me for so long?  
 _I would miss Axel and Roxas every day, that's for sure..._  

Finally...there was a laugh.   
"Oh well...I guess I have a lot of growing to do."   
_What?_  
At the end of it all, even with a decade of her life vanished from her grasp, X was oddly resigned...I felt a heavy force pressing down on my chest, just watching the scene by with not a single word.  
 

"X...are you sure about this?" Roxas thankfully butted in, cutting this strange reaction short.  
"Of course I am. But I'm glad to see that Lea's alright...But judging from your outfits, you're like Xion, right?"  
"Yeah...I'm Roxas."  
"Roxas...It's nice to meet you." Past the friendly introduction, I caught her bright and cheerful eyes dim slightly; "So I suppose you have a lot on your mind, huh? How about we talk?" 

_As long as we have friends, any problem can go away with more than one mind...  
_ "Yeah...Let's just talk." 

~~  

Even with Axel's time as a Somebody, X didn't have any memories of her past. She was kept in a castle, in a cell deep underground where scientists hoped to find out her secrets. 

In my eyes, she's almost like us...For now, we only counted the days, going through everything in monotone colors and missions.   
 _But while we're just Nobodies, following a single purpose, she has endless possibilities..._  

Out of everything, the scar is yet another feature that caught my eye.

Etched right over her chest, right on top of her heart, the X-shaped mark was barely visible from those vacant years.  
"I can still remember the day I got this..." Her eyes dimmed once more; "The scientists found out that I have a pretty strong heart, so Darkness doesn't hurt me as much. Something along the lines of...an immunity."   
  


_Even so, I'd rather not ask about dark corridors...they're dangerous even with a coat..._  
"But you know what, Lea? The reason why I'm still here is that I hold on...I make it through every day knowing that I'm brave enough. In a way...I guess you're my motivation."   
"Well, I had that effect on people..." He sheepishly scratched his head; "But in what way?"

"It was after the operation...That was when you and Isa came into my life. So after all this time, I'm glad you still thought about me. Thank you, Lea."  
"...You're welcome..."  
 

But at the end of it all, friends are always there to ease the pain of yesterday, to know that our secrets are kept under a lock and key.  
Even if scars are eternal, X sees a promise that is never broken.  
Right over her heart, keeping it safe from the outside world, the scars hold her hope of a better time.


	6. Chapter 6

~~X~~

* * *

_They say that eyes are the window to the soul. No matter how bright or dull, no matter the color or shade, there was always a picture of the truth.  
_ _For everything I know, the first thing I always remember was the eyes, letting the identity meld itself to those orbs.  
_ _As far as I could remember, there were three people with the eyes of monsters._  
 

_The man who took me under his care, the kind smile and fiery red scarf.  
_ _The scientist who kept me under the spotlight, the silver hair and hopes of the future.  
_ _The guard who broke me free of my cage, the eyepatch, the calloused smile._  
 

_It was always the eyes...no matter the tests, the smiles, the lies, there was nothing hiding the truth...  
_ _They knew I was special...They wanted more, but I had nothing to give..._  

_There was always the smell of chemicals._  
_The screams piercing the heavens._  
_The cold heaviness of these limbs, never answering my call when I want to._  
_The cut, the incision revealing the truth within._  
_The beating...of my heart..._  

_It doesn't matter if I closed them, I always see them..._  
_My Light...My god, the eyes..._  
_Where the scalpels and needles pierce my skin, those eyes tear my soul apart.  
_ _Please...Just leave me alone...Don't look at me..._

_Past the silence, the darkness, my shivering fingers, I felt...Light._  

"Need some help?"  
_There was a voice...and my mind felt clearer..._

  
_~~"Who are you?"~~  _

 

_There was a mass of color, clashing and melding together into a strange but comforting mess.  
_ _But it was so easy to see those eyes...that dazzling blue, white curls, muted red scarf._

 

"What's your name?"  
~~"I can't remember..."~~

 

_It was just on the tip of my tongue...I knew it was there, just within that boy..._  


_Simple._  
_Kind._  
_Unresolved._  
_Lively._  
_Determined._

  
_What was it?_  
_What was the answer?_  


"My name...is..."  
  


_The Darkness._  
_The Light._  
_The numbness._  
_The pain._  
_The silence._  
_The screams._

_I was torn apart, falling into the abyss with nothing to hold onto._

~~_In this crowded world, I was all alone._ ~~

_Red, Black, White._

_Flesh, Body, Soul._

_In the tunneling dark, he reached out a hand, a single word leaving his lips._

  
_"̶̢̘̝̣͎̬̼̙̩̭̃̃̿̽͋̓̈́̾̓̑̕͝S̸̢̛̫͇̪̭̠̪̣͋̌̈́̅̎̌̍͒̚͜͝ͅ-̸͓̱̩͛͗̓͌̃̚͜"̶̢̪͈̥̻̤̺̬̭̖͌̋͌͜͜_

 

 

My body felt like it was on fire, frozen in this abysmal fear, all under the blanket of fleece and the full moon.  
 _Breathe...I need to breathe..._  
My fingers were close to my chest, feeling only sweat clinging to my skin.  
 

_...It was only a dream...  
_ I stood to face the window, practically hobbling my way over to the semitranslucent glass.   
Golden eyes, black hair, pale skin...  
_...Am I a monster?_  

Clarity finally returned, let myself shake the ridiculous thought away.

"What am I thinking...?"   
I'm me, there's nothing else here to change the fact.

I just need some air, that's all...

~~

Despite my fears crawling in the night, there wasn't a single Shadow that I could see from the rooftop. For now, it was just me, the moon, and the stars, wasting away the remaining hours of the night.  
Somehow, in the distant depths of my dreams, my memories, it feels nostalgic... _familiar_...

It was always on the tip of my tongue, just waiting to come to life... 

"That name...was that my answer?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sure...The Darkling could be one of her old Party members, one of the Dandelions or both...Why did the game not show their potential? And don't worry, it'll be back later on.

* * *

 Xion

* * *

The last thing I ever expected X to do was staying in the sights of a Heartless. With that familiar stare of the predator, she stood as still as a statue, not even reacting as I charged right by her side, Keyblade in my hurried grip. 

But the creature in mind was puzzling...While its physique was Soldier-like, the helmet was replaced with a red-eyed cat hoodie, an X-strap covering its chest, striped shorts, and gloves over those blood-red claws.  
If not for the dangerous hissing, I would have called it... _cute_.  
  
"Xion...put your Key away." Her voice was strong and unwavering like this was all just a misunderstanding.    
"But X..."  
"Don't worry, it didn't attack me."   
_But why is that...? Is it because of the Keyblade?_

Nevertheless, I took her word, keeping a steady eye on it as my weapon vanished in the light. Its guard lowered, thankfully enough, but in those pupilless eyes, I saw a hint of... _disappointment?_  

**"No...Lux...?"**  It was guttural but light, a raspy set of words that sounded oddly childish...but that was something to be wary of.   
 _A Heartless...just talked?_  
_Is this even possible!?_  

I was in absolute awe, flitting my gaze over from this renegade Heartless and my friend, the one with an undeterred grin on her face.  
"X...?"  
She didn't look my way, "Sorry bud, there's no Lux here...Not that I know of."  
The Heartless bowed its head, whimpering like a puppy.  
 

_How is she so calm about this!?_  
_There's a talking Heartless, right here, right in front of us!_

Still, even as I was flabbergasted, this being of Darkness only cocked its head, almost trying to observe us...Then it smiled, the ruby maw peaking past those razor-sharp teeth.    
 **"Skuld!"**  It ignored the massive talons dwarfing X's hands, but it bounced around like a giddy child, flapping its wiry bat wings about;  **"Leader Skuld! Leader Skuld, it's you!"**

_Leader...?_  
_...Skuld...?_  
_A Heartless from her past...? Or maybe-  
_  

Once again, before I could ask, 'Skuld' crouched down to meet the Heartless' gaze, "It's nice to see you again...I'm surprised that you remembered me." She ruffled the creature's hoodie, seemingly purring from the action; "I'm a bit busy now, so stay safe, alright?"  
**"'Kay!"**    
As if it wasn't a threat to the world and the people itself, it cheerfully sauntered off.   
 _A talking Heartless...and it knew X...should I even write that down in a report?_  
_Maybe, maybe not...but one question needs to be answered._

"X...Skuld...? What was that?" Finally, what felt like hours past, she turned to me, a tiny smile plastered on her lips.  
"...I remembered my name."   
 _...Oh...  
_  

While I figured it was from the Heartless itself, it took me a few seconds to even comprehend the news. Still, a cheerful smile made its way as well.  
"...That's _great_ , congratulations! So you're starting to remember, huh?"   
"I've had a couple of memories here and there...But don't tell your friends about that, alright?" She pressed a finger to her lips, giggling in the process; "And I'm sure you wanna ask about the Heartless?"  
"Yeah! I've never seen a talking Heartless before...How did it learn to talk in the first place?"

_Heartless are created from the Darkness, right?  Then what was all of that supposed to mean?  
_  

"It must have remembered..."  
"Huh?" Skuld easily cut through my thoughts, her face grim; "Then...It had a life before...?"  
"Yeah...You said that a Heartless is created when a person succumbs to Darkness, right? Maybe, it somehow held onto its humanity."  
"-But...what about that Lux? If it remembers it's human, then..."

_But... what is Lux? If it's supposed to be a Heartless, it should be hunting hearts, right?_  
_That's why it should have attacked Skuld...then-_

"I think...I used to live with it when it was human. But at the same time, I know what that Heartless is called..."  
"It has a name? What is it, Skuld?" It pained me slightly to see her struggle with the rising memories, her face pale and sullen.  
"A Darkling...I'm sure of it...There were more than one, and it must have known about your Keyblade."  
"A _Darkling_..."   
 

_It remembered Skuld...and it knows about the Keyblade...?_  
_That just sounds insane...too good to be true..._  
"Then-...It had to be a Keyblade wielder!?"  
Her eyes widened at the fact as well, like we just struck gold. 

"Maybe...I can't say for sure..."  
"-But that's awesome, Skuld! You might have been friends with a Keyblade wielder! Man, I wish I had that in my life...”  Even with the negativity, she chuckled to herself, seemingly at awe as well.   
"Are you sure you're not forgetting Roxas?"   
"-Oh, of course not! It's nice to have him as a friend, but it would be great to know who I was before. And even if we remember, we'll still have something in common, right?" 

_Even if we have different lives, minds, and hearts, the memories will never change..._  

~~

The days passed me by once again, and my mind was going from Skuld and the Organization.  
  
 _I'm glad that Skuld remembered her name...but it's still a bit strange.  
_ _While the Darkling remembers her, she knew how to put the pieces together from her past...  
_ _Roxas and I don't know our past, but if we find some kind of connection, we may be able to remember our lives as Somebodies._

_While I don't know what it could be...Maybe Kingdom Hearts will know.  
_ _After all, if we can collect hearts in that world, we'll be able to help Skuld as well!_    
 _But now that I think about it...I don't know the name of that world.  
_ _Maybe Skuld will know what it's called..._  

_It will be great, I know it wi-_  

Suddenly, I felt a powerful force hit me hard, letting my body go numb and my vision falls into the abyss. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering, Kage is Japanese for Shadow. So, it's a shadow of a friend, what more could you get on creativity?

* * *

Skuld

* * *

The idyllic days passed me by, while one indiscrete morning met me with some scratching at my door and a familiar voice.  
" **Skuld!"** In the gentle morning light, the Darkling paid absolutely no mind to the passage of time, grinning to itself in a sense of accomplishment.

_But...why is it here?_  
_How did it even find me?_  

"What are you doing here?"   
It only blinked curiously by, allowing me to rub my eyes to shake off the remaining traces of sleep for the day.   
For now, I'd rather not risk the commotion of bringing it inside...I've already had one extra mouth to feed.  
But still...It's now or never...   

"Want something to eat?" After all, the smell of muffins practically clung to the air, serving as an impractical beacon for the other Heartless; "I'm not sure if you'll like it...But it's worth a shot, right?"   
There was a sense of curiosity, not by its mannerism or body, but I could feel those animal eyes glint with the emotion.  
 

_Of course, it remembers me...  
__But how should I know?  
__Should I even remember what they looked like when they were alive, at least a figure or a name?  
__Besides all of this, I still have nothing...  
_  
"Here you go! I hope you like it." The simple breakfast was still warm, wafting the gentle scent of cinnamon and apple.  
_Let's just hope it doesn't litter...  
_**"Thanks!"**  Despite that, it eagerly grinned, bounding away to the city beyond with its prize in tow.   
_It's just like a cat, costume and all..._  

But just like any pesky feline, it keeps coming back _._

Almost every day and almost every night, the Darkling shows up at my door, anxiously awaiting its reward. While I had plenty of pastries to go between the two of us, I knew how much Xion would appreciate them too. And while there were the times when it happily went along its day, I took some time between to relax outside, sitting on some worn crates as the sun began to warm my skin. 

The sense of familiarity washed over me on those days, let me think back on those fleeting times of color, light, with a friend to talk and laugh alongside with.  
_I just wish I knew his name..._

~~ 

I decided to name the Darkling Kage, and while it sounded goofy to me, the Heartless paid no heed.  
**"Kage...Kage..."**  It tested the name with rising interest, to feel another sense of purpose from this routine.   
Another leverage in this bleak but hopeful world...If we hope for the better, it will eventually come.  
  
_May your heart-_  

**"Thank you, Skuld."  
**"You're welcome." The smile was as familiar as the rising dawn; "Stay safe, alright Kage?"  
**"Stay safe!"** Echoing my optimism, he took to the outside world, letting time pass between us once more.

  
_No matter how brief, it doesn't pain me to see them go...I always know they come back.  
__For now, that's the one memory that needs no unraveling._  

~~ 

A little more than two weeks passed, and another familiar presence greets me at the door.

"Roxas?"    
"Hey X, how are you?"   
"Really, Xion didn't tell you?" The past stays as it is, even that single letter; "I got my old name back. It's Skuld now, alright?"   
"Skuld..." He pondered aloud, letting the seconds pass with another vision, another Roxas who looked both young and bright.

_Is it another memory?_

"Alright, that's great!" Those cheerful eyes and bright smile remain, but on another face; "I can't wait to tell Axel!"  
"I'm sure he'll be thrilled with the news too. And speaking of your friend, how's Xion been? She has to be pretty busy if it means you're visiting." Unfortunately so, his cheerfulness dimmed.   


"I-...I don't really know what happened, but she got hurt on a mission. She's been sleeping for a really long time..."   
"Oh no...That's terrible..."    
_So that's why she hasn't come around...Regardless of that, someone needs to take care of her._  

"And I've been pretty busy too..." Roxas continued, fidgeting to himself, "I have to work twice as hard to make up for Xion. Still, even with the other worlds, there's a lot more Heartless here. Do you think I can help get rid of them?"

I just managed to hide a flinch because of it.  


_That will be a big help, I know it...But what else is there besides the smaller Heartless here?  No matter how strong they are, I don't want Xion, Roxas, or Kage getting hurt for my sake.  
__Even with my recovering memories, I know how to protect myself..._  
With my anxieties quelled, I let a soft smile creep through. 

"Don't worry about that, Roxas. You already have a lot of work ahead of you, so you should worry about that for now. And besides, if the Heartless were bothering me now, I'd let you know. That's what friends are for, after all."  
"Yeah...You're right."  
_That smile feels so familiar..._  

"Besides that, I don't know a lot about your lives compared to mine. But I do know one thing, and that's knowing when you need time to relax. So when Xion gets better, make sure she comes right to me."   
"You can count on me X-...I mean Skuld, yeah..."  
"No problem, Roxas."

_But there's another name, just on the tip of my tongue..._

~~~  

It was 20 days after the incident, 186 days since Xion joined the Organization, and 193 days for Roxas.

For the two worlds tethered to twilight, days pass in a noticeably broad spectrum.   
The city sitting in ruins of the past passes solemnly, barely holding a single thought of change.  
The castle built for the future beyond will be forever shifted, setting everything in motion.  

That moment starts when Number XIV finally opened her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Xion

* * *

 

In such a short time, I find myself wandering this black abyss again, my mind reeling in both pain and nostalgia.

_I'm letting Roxas and Axel worry about me again...But I never wanted this to happen.  
_ _No matter how hard I work for the Organization, I always feel a step behind everyone else..._

_What am I doing wrong?_  
_Am I forgetting something?_  
_Is it from my memories?_

_I want to understand..._  
_If I can be happy with my friends again, what do I need to do?_  


The black abyss melted around me, bringing me to another world bathed in a sunset.  
 _On a lonely pier, a boy and a girl watched the ocean and sky, glowing in the gentle light.  
_ _That Light, it feels so familiar...It's almost like Skuld's Light..._

_Can you help me understand...?_  
_I want to know...who I am..._  


"Sora..."  
 ~~Don't ever change...~~

~~

_My Keyblade's a fake?  
_ _But that's not true, I know it! Roxas helped me get it back when I needed it the most...It's connected to me, no matter what that guy says.  
_ _I have my friends...They'll understand me no matter what._  

"Xion...?" It was just barely morning as I arrived at her door, impatience melting away with the remaining hours; "Do you want some tea?"  
"Sure..."   
 _Besides Roxas and Axel, she cares about me..._  

~ 

"I don't know what to do, Skuld..." While it's not as high as the clocktower, it felt like I needed some space between the suffocating earth from the rooftop; "It feels like I don't know myself...And nobody's telling me anything anymore..."  
"But...hasn't that happened before?"  
"Not really...Saix mostly wouldn't tell me anything important. This is something more... It feels like the Organization is hiding something from me."

Minutes passed like hours as Skuld contemplated to herself, watching the steam escape her mug.

"I guess...If you can't find the answers from others, you might have to look for them yourself. And regardless of the truth, I still care about you..." She then turned towards the horizon, a sense of calm emanating in the air; "Look, the sun's coming up." 

Despite the odd transition, I suddenly became at awe of the blending lights, letting the twilight vanish in a flurry of violet, red, blue, and pink.  
 _It's almost like the sunsets at Twilight Town...But this just feels...special._

"No matter how dark the night is, it's better to wait for daybreak to come." Skuld reminisced the thought; "It's the time for new beginnings...And in a strange sort of way, you remind me a lot about myself."   
"You think so?" She turned from the radiant light, flashing me a grin that shone just as bright.

"Of course, Xion. I was alone in this world, and I had nowhere to really go...But when I look at you, you remind me of that day, trying to find my purpose in life."  
 _So she really is like me...We really do have more in common..._ 

"So you see me as...motivation?"  
"If you say so. But even if you're trying to understand yourself, you still have your friends..."  
"Yeah..."   
 _No matter what I had to go through, Roxas and Axel always looked out for me, even if we were apart.  
_ _That's what best friends are for, after all..._  
 

"May your heart be your guiding key, Xion..."  
"-Huh? What was _that_?" My exasperation cut through the somber atmosphere, letting Skuld bring out a giggle. 

"It's a special phrase...That no matter how tough the road may be, just trust your heart to get you through it."  
"But...I'm a Nobody..." 

_How would we have hearts to trust if they didn't exist?_  
"That doesn't matter to me. You can just look towards the future, it'll get better in no time."  
"Oh, I see..." Letting the words sink in, the sweet and tangy taste of the tea warming my chest.

"You have a lot to look forward to, Xion, but you need a break from time to time. I'm sure the tea will help you have a clear head."  
"Alright...Thanks."  

_As the sun rises, so begins another day..._  
"Goodbye, Skuld."  
"See you later, Xion." 

~~~

It was 249 days of Xion's time in the Organization.

In a Castle hidden away between Light and Dark, with the walls chiseled in white, she stares in the reflection of a crystal ball.

"I'm not...me?" 

~~~

Day 357...

Number XIV became the Forgotten.


	10. Chapter 10

Skuld

* * *

I knew it was alright to wait...After all, the search for her true self would be a long and strenuous one.  
 _'May your heart be your guiding key...'  
_ It's been so long since I ever said it... 

For those ten long years away from the castle, the past always lingered in those words, no matter how wise the meaning has come to be. From my memories of hope, it hid the heartache and pain I suffered under the surface, a double-edged knife.

No matter how bleak, I always hoped to see the sun...  
Kage joined me on the rooftop as Xion left, filling in that familiar space as we watched the sunrise in silence.   
 _Maybe in time, we can all watch the sunrise together..._   

~~ 

If it wasn't for this floaty fluffball running the abandoned shop, I often wonder how far I would have gone without him. While Mog despises others touching that attractive pompom, he traveled across the worlds in a massive chain of business with similar creatures. 

And if it wasn't for me keeping up his revenue, he wouldn't have set foot in this world after all.  
 _Maybe Xion knows more about these Moogles than I do.  
_ _I'm sure she's seen one before..._  

"Welcome, kupo! How are you today?"  
"I'm doing great, thanks!" While he enjoyed the Munny I provided, he never questioned the copious amount I possessed, buying myself food and clothes instead of the wares he initially sells. Even so, I sought his simple advice and company.  

_Despite all of this, I always feel a sense of deja vu...For a shopkeeper like himself, isn't he supposed to be a bit stingy?  
_ _It must be my imagination..._  

~~

I always feel the seasons changing in the air, just feeling the gentle flush of heat or frigid air in the midst of it all.    
 _Summer's about to end..._    
While it didn't change much on the Heartless' hostility, the two extremes give me fewer sightings.  

_Maybe they still have memories...After all, I usually hate when it gets too cold or hot at times. The same could possibly be said for Kage too..._    
 _Maybe when winter comes, we can play in the snow together!_  

~~

_The scent of rain and blood plagued the air, letting me only follow a trail of dirt illuminated by the moon.  
_ _I came across a crossroad, littered with the embedded swords of war, letting witness a boy laying in the middle of it all._ _Battered and bloodied from conflict, his golden hair was matted with dust, sweat, and blood; turning away from a strangely familiar doll he held close to his chest._

"A goddess...?"

_He only croaked out, his mind reeling from the horrors he faced._ _Pity flooded my chest at the sight, taking me longer than usual to notice another presence beside me.  
_ _The same eyes, same hair, same scarf..._   

My mind went black after that, waking to the sun pouring through my window, burning that smile forever into my memory.

~~

No matter what my strange intuition told me, I wanted to ask Kage about our home, the one that danced on the edge of fantastical dreams and reality.  
But the more I want to understand, there seems to be a persistent sense of dread in the back of my mind.  
 

_Who will I be once I know the truth?  
_ _My true memories feel so close...but it scares me to remember.  
_ _How much would I have changed from now?  
_ _Will I even be able to recognize myself?_   

_And our home...was that battlefield connected somehow?  
_ _I can't just sit around with my doubts...I need to found out for myself..._  

Finally, with a restrained sigh, I turned to my connection of the past.  
"Kage...what was our home like?" Of course, those sulfur eyes darted to me, the answer already glinting in those knowledgable orbs.  
 **"Daybreak."**  

_Daybreak...the time of new beginnings..._  
Despite that, he said nothing else, watching the sunrise on such a familiar perch. 

~~

_The smell of anesthetic mauled my senses, letting the fear consume me as that horrible past returned._  
_Even in my dreams, there's no escape from them...  
_ _But thankfully enough, I wasn't greeted by the hollow and empty prison. Piles of scientific documents laid scattered across a large desk, facing a bordered window that held the twinkle of ruby stars on the other side._

_Those screams...Are those the hearts of the ones before me?_  

_Overshadowing my guilt, I crept towards the glass, catching my reflection staring back.  
_ _With a medical gown branding me, I could see the same golden eyes, same pale skin, same black hair..._  

"I'm still me..."  _I sighed to myself, letting the familiar darkness greet me as a consultation.  
_ _No matter what the future holds, I'll still hold onto what is right..._

   
 _But when I opened my eyes, my reflection changed.  
_ _With an attire of black, the stars glimmering about shone bright and courageous, a smile that spoke of hope, peace, and freedom.  
_ _We were different but the same, a mirror reflecting different times._  

_The laboratory melted away, the artificial colors replaced with natural life, calming me as the scent of flowers cradled me on all sides. In the gentle light, the violet roofs were bathed in the glow of dawn.  
_ _Daybreak...the town of beginnings..._  
 

"Skuld!" _A familiar voice called from the courtyard, seated upon a fountain that gurgled energetically, which my reflection eagerly joined the boy._ _My chest was filled with warmth as the scenery changed once more, the peaceful outdoors replaced with a somber study, letting these achingly-familiar voices fill the air._

_The children with the world in our hands, letting time pass as we laughed, joked, and worked for the future beyond.  
_ _In these distant memories, they feel as if it was only yesterday, feeling the past flood into my heart with an accepting smile.  
_ _After all this time, I now understand..._    
  

With the familiar daybreak greeting me, I woke up to this desolate world with a new purpose.  
"May my heart be my guiding Key..."  
 _When tomorrow comes, we face today with a new purpose._  

~~ 

**"Skuld! Lux! Lux! Lux!"** Kage made no sign of restraint as he greeted me by the door, bouncing around like a giddy Powerwild.  
 _So I guess he knows too, huh?_  
"Kage, I already told you." I answered with a giggle; "There's no more Lux here. We don't have to worry about it."  
 **"Oh...Alright!"**  

Even if his original form remains in my heart and mind, he still holds an unwavering trust towards me, no matter how time changed the worlds around us.

_No matter how the future changes us, our hearts will always stay the same..._  

~~

_That's strange...It feels like I'm forgetting something..._

~~

The Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee...Finally, after for long, someone's come to live here again.  
Cid, Yuffie, Aerith, and Leon...a tiny group of strong and capable hearts that hope to repair their home to its former glory. Seeing me thriving in this desolate world gave them a headstart in morale nonetheless, even as the people would have fallen to Darkness or managed to find shelter in Traverse Town. 

_Even if they're so open about Radiant Garden, I lived just under the surface, away from everyone's reach..._ _Besides that, I should be just as old as them.  
_ _And with the knowledge I have under my belt, I even should be considered a sage!_   

"You know, we're always welcome to new recruits," The energetic ninja implied; "so be sure to stop by when you have the chance. See ya later!"   
And just like that, with ambitions high, they set off to their base of operation, ignorant of my knowing smile.  
 _While I'm a stranger of this world, they treat me like a friend...I think it's best they don't know for now..._   

"I have faith in you...Make this world a home for everyone."  
With silence as my answer, I went back inside, back to the home I've known for so long. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now then...I'll put up the idea that Skuld recovered her memories the day before Xion's death, and the Restoration Committee arrives in HB a couple of days later.
> 
> Why? Because there's not enough angst to go around, that's what.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed everything I had to offer!


End file.
